Do you have grandchildren? Do they live with you?

I have 2 beautiful grand-daughters, Leah and Melody.

When my son and daughter-in-law first moved in with us, they only had one child, Leah who was about 10 months old at the time. They had moved back to Florida from Ohio. They were only in Ohio for a year but my son being a Floridian couldn’t handle the winters, so they came home.

My son and Daughter-in-law had moved to Ohio when my Daughter-in-law was pregnant so I missed out on pretty much everything with Leah in the beginning. I wasn’t happy about them moving but they thought it was going to be so much better in Ohio.

I missed the first 10 months of Leah’s life so I was thrilled to have them move back and even more thrilled they would be staying here with us.

I was in love with my grand-baby. She was the most beautiful and sweetest baby. I felt like I was making up for lost time. And of course she got very attached to me. I guess I spoiled her…

…but then again, that’s my job!

Living With Your Children and Grandchildren -And then there are 2

My son got his job back at the company he was working for before he went to Ohio. That was a big relief because well, Grandma had to buy all the diapers and formula and anything else they needed because they didn’t have any money.

My son had been working for a few months and my daughter-in-law found out she was pregnant. I was happy about them having another baby but they were still living here. I bought a 5th wheel RV and put it in my backyard to make extra living quarters. 3 of my other children were still living home and it was getting pretty crowded and with another baby on the way we needed more room.

Melody was born on April 1, 2013.  Shortly after Melody was born my son was diagnosed with crohn’s disease and IBS and he couldn’t work anymore. He had lost all his strength and he was unable to do his job. He was a diesel mechanic and he couldn’t even lift the big tools that he previously worked with.

My daughter-in-law got a part time job when Melody was about 7 months old. So they had some money to buy the things they needed. She also applied for WIC so she was able to get Milk and formula. Which helped out a lot.

 Living With Your Children and Grandchildren – And not interfering

The biggest challenge I face is not interfering in the parenting of my grand-daughters. Leah is now 4 and Melody will be 2 next week. Both girls come to me first before going to their parents. It’s so easy for me to just take care of them and get them what ever they need. But what I have realized is it’s not my place. So when they come ask me for something or to do something for them I tell them to go ask Mommy or Daddy.

It’s hard for me to do that because parenting comes so natural for me. I raised 5 kids and for me it’s just a natural response to take care of the kids. When you are a parent you do everything for your kids and at times you neglect yourself because what the kids need is more important than what you need at the moment.

Living With Your Children and Grandchildren – back in the house

2 of my kids moved out this past year, which freed up 2 bedrooms, so we were able to move my son, daughter-in-law and the girls into the house. The girls now have their own bedroom which has been great because we put all their toys in their room. Previously my house had baby toys everywhere. It was a struggle to keep the living room clean and free of toys. Now they occasionally bring toys out but they know they have to go back to their room with them.

When they were staying out back in the camper, if I baby sat them at night I had to go and stay outside in the camper with them. Now if my son and daughter-in-law go out and I am watching the girls I can put them to bed in their room and I can go about my business. It’s so much better since they came back into the house.

Having them in the house has its challenges as well. Like I know too much about what is going on in the house. I get to hear all the squabbles and fights and well, they try to involve me in them and want me to take sides. Being impartial is difficult, but I have learned that I need to stay out of their business. They need to work things out without interference from me. If not they will never learn how to figure things out together.

Living With Your Children and Grandchildren – the joys outweigh the challenges

All in all the joy of having my grand-daughter living with me outweigh the struggles and challenges we face. Like waking up to Grandma, Grandma and big hugs every morning. Like spending time playing patty cake and singing songs to them. I’m able to bring them to church with me every Sunday morning and Wednesday night. Sometimes we stop for french fries or a happy meal on the way home. I love reading to the girls and sometimes I go lay down with them at night to help settle them down for the night. Sometimes Leah will wake up in the middle of the night and come climb into bed with me and sleep if her parents door is closed.

My daughter-in-law doesn’t like the kids coming into their bed at night. When my kids were small some nights I’d have all 5 come crawl up into my bed, I had a king size bed. I didn’t mind. I called it the family bed. Sometimes I’d wake up with a kink in my neck but I always liked to snuggle with my kids. So if Leah wants to come snuggle with Grandma, it’s OK.

I really feel blessed to have my grandchildren here. The joys outweigh the challenges.

Thank for visiting my blog.

Deirdre Powell (Dee)

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