How to Have a Good Relationship
Have you every wondered what makes a good relationship?
My name is Dee and my husband, Richard, and I have been married for 31 years this month. I thought I would share a little about our relationship and maybe in some way help someone.
Richard and I met in May of 1981 at a party that my sister invited me to. I was 24 year old at the time. I had been in a relationship that wasn’t a good one and it had ended months before. I was feeling very depressed because I didn’t think I would ever meet anyone who was perfect for me. I prayed and asked God to send me someone who was perfect for me. I told God “he doesn’t have to be perfect, just let him be perfect for me.” I thanked God and left it in his hands. About a month later I met Richard at the party. For me it was love at first sight. Richard was still in his partying days so after a while I broke up with him because I didn’t feel like we were on the same page. I didn’t think we were heading in the same direction.
About a year later I got a call from Richard asking me if he could come over to show me his new motorcycle. So I said sure. And that was our new beginning. He told he me he loved me and always had. And so began our life.
There’s a old saying that goes something like this: If you love someone and let them go,and they don’t come back, they were never really yours. If they come back they were yours all along.
Richard and I have 5 children and 2 grandchildren. We have been through good times and bad together. But the one thing we never did was argue about every little thing. When things got bad financially we grew closer. We knew that we had each other and our children. We talked about everything and we worked together to change our situation. We both made sacrifices because our family was the most important thing to both of us.
How to Have a Good Relationship – Be Evenly Yoked
The first thing I want to say about how to have a good relationship is you have to be evenly yoked, meaning you both have the same values and want the same things in life. Have God at the center of your relationship.
Too many people go into marriage thinking that they are going to change the other person. You have to realize that you partner isn’t perfect and you can’t change them unless they want to be changed. You have to accept them for who they are. Your partner also needs to accept you for who you are. It’s not your job to change each other. You should bring out the best in each other.
How to Have a Good Relationship – Open Communication and Trust
You must have open communication. If you love someone you should be able to talk openly with them about anything. If you don’t feel you can tell your partner something because they will get jealous or mad, then there is no trust in your relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Being jealous only means you don’t trust the other person and without trust you don’t really have a relationship.
When Richard and I were dating a friend of mine came to tell me that Richard was eating his lunch at work with a couple girls. My response to her was, that’s Ok I trust him, they are his co-workers and his friends. I know he loves me. My friend thought I was going to be mad at him. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t mad or even concerned because I trusted him completely.
Communication and trust are so important.
How to Have a Good Relationship – Respect
You are supposed to be the most important person in each others life. You should speak to each other with respect and love and you should be able to tell each other anything without either one yelling and screaming.
Always speak to each other with respect like you value them and their opinion. You should never call each other names or put each other down in front of each other or in front of others. The only thing that does is break down trust. It shows your partner that you don’t value them.
Always point out your partners good qualities, especially in the presence of others.
Treat your partner like you did when you were dating and just getting to know each other. Remember the things that attracted you them.
Physical violence is never something anyone should tolerate. If someone truly loves you they will never raise a hand to you. If someone hits you once they will do it again. They don’t respect you. You should never stay in an abusive relationship.
How to Have a Good Relationship – Never go to sleep angry
OK I know that everyone has disagreements from time to time. It’s important to talk it out before going to sleep at night. The bible says in Ephesians 4:26 “don’t let the sun go down on your anger”.
If you go to sleep angry you’re probably going to get a bad night’s sleep and wake up angry as well. It’s best to do everything you can to talk things out and come to an agreement before you go to sleep. This way you can start the next day fresh.
These are some of the way to be sure that you have a good relationship in my experience. I hope that in some way my blog helps someone.
Deirdre Powell (Dee)
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