How Storms Of Life Have Impacted My Life

I was that Mom that baked cookies and played with the kids and everyone I knew that had kids would bring their kids to my house when they needed someone to watch their kids.

When my youngest daughter was 3 I started working because by that time we needed the money. Things were pretty tight and I tried not to work but we decided it was time. It was the hardest thing I had to do at the time.

Everyday when I left for work I would be in tears. I worked 4 to 12:30 so my husband could be home with the kids when I was at work. I would cry the whole way to work and once I got there I would take a deep breath and wipe my face and go into work. It was hard. I missed my kids at night I missed dinner time I missed bed time. Bed time was one of my favorite times. I used to go in and sing to the kids each night. They would sing with me and it was a special time.

When I got home from work at night everyone was asleep. I couldn’t sleep so I would go online and talk to friends in chat rooms. This went on for quite some time until I got to a point in my life that I was completely isolated from the outside world.

I barely saw my husband or my children. My husband would get up at 5 am and I would still be on the computer talking to my online friends. I would go to bed when he got up and then sleep for 2 hours and get up at 7 to get the kids off to school. Then I would go back to bed and sleep till 2 go pick them up and then get ready for work.

I became depressed and I became emotionally dependent on my online friend. I became obsessed with the lives of my online friend who I had never met in person. I felt lost and isolated from my in person family and friends.

Something had to change. I wanted my family back. I wanted to be able to talk to my husband without crying because I was depressed. I didn’t really know I was depressed I thought I was just sad. But it was depression and I realize it now.

My husband is the best husband in the world. He put up with me during this time of depression. He stood by me and loved me.

My Pastors wife would see me on Sunday mornings and she would try to talk to me and get me to be involved with the other ladies in the church but I had a hard time connecting with anyone because of the hours I worked and they fact that I was up all night.

One day I began to pray to ask God to help me to make a way for me. I never prayed like that I was calling out to Him and I was weeping. At one point a peace came over me that I hadn’t know in such a long time.

Then an opportunity came up for me to change my work hours to the day shift. I stopped spending all night on the computer and started spending time with my family again.

I was able to start going to church on Wednesday nights with my family and I started getting involved in different ministries. I started connecting with some of the other ladies in my church and I have some great friendships now.

When I look back at that time in my life it feels like another life. Almost like it was a dream and didn’t really happen. I am so grateful for God’s grace and intervention in my life.